Whiner’s Clubs

I’m a veritable whiner.  I whine about the simplest things, the easiest tasks.  Luckily, at work, there’s nothing in the employee handbook that says it’s a terminable offense, or my manager would’ve served me my walking papers by now.  He’s usually the first person to receive the brunt of my whining.  He tells me to do something I don’t want to do, I whine.  He tells me to do something I want to do, I still whine just to annoy him.  (By the way, it’s a one-upmanship game that my colleagues and I play with him.  He always wins in the end (of course, insubordination’s a Level 3 offense) but it’s no fun when we don’t complain first.  And all’s done good-naturedly – he’s a good boss, we like him.)

When I was younger, I hated it when people whine. I’m very solutions-focused and when folks brought their complaints to me, the first thing I’d ask is, “Well, what will you do about it?”  And it annoyed me to hell and back when they wouldn’t do anything about what they were whining about and just continue whining forever.  (I was involved in a most unusual (at least for me) case of cyber-quarrel years ago when I accidentally tagged one of my private journal entries as public and I was ranting about somebody’s, uhm, well, state of pouring out her problems.)

Age brings with it certain gifts – like mellowness, patience and maturity.  I no more think there’s anything wrong with whining per se.  It can be considered as freedom of expression – even therapeutic and productive, sometimes.  You get stuff off your chest, out in the open, you don’t get a heart attack and your boss (if he’s like my boss), gets wind of it and takes it either as an amusing act if not constructive feedback.  It could happen.

With my whining expertise and by the powers of observation vested in me, I felt it my duty to classify the whiners so you can determine which one the people around you belong to.  And so you can be guided accordingly.

The first group, I call “The Good Whiners Club”.  They’re the people who would whine like their lives depend on it.  For five minutes.  Then they get right down to what they’re supposed to do and they deliver a kickass job.  Most people I know (and I hope myself as well) belong to this club.  Whining is an assertion of their personality.  Make no mistake that this is, still, a group of intellectuals.  You’ll learn a lot from them.  You can develop your rebuttal skills.  You’ll get tips to boost your confidence.  Yes, they might cause your ears to fall off but, when everything’s said and done, this is the group you want on your team.

Then there are the people who whine….. and whine….. and whine……. They whine for the purpose of whining.  For them, it’s as normal as breathing.  They belong to the second group I labelled “The Long and Whining Road Club”.  Every month or so, they hold a prayer rally that no one takes away the stuff they whine about.  Their slogan is “Give us Liberty something to whine about or give us Death”.  If you’re a sucker for tragedies, you want this people around you.  If for nothing else, just so you can count your blessings and gloat in private about how positive you still are compared to them.

The most menacing is the third group – “The Whine and Dine Club.”  When you see people from this group, I urge you to make the see-no-evil, hear-no-evil, speak-no-evil sign and then RUN!  Run as fast as you can.  If you don’t, these people will feed on you.  They will drain you of all energy.  They will exhaust you until you can’t function anymore, until you feel dissatisfied with your work, your life, and even your state of being. This group believes in the saying “misery loves company” and they are actively campaigning.  Again, this is the most dangerous group.  Join them at your peril.

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